It's A Beauty

By Adriaan van Ginkel

These days I received a lot of positive remarks and compliments about my blog.  Thank you all! It’s encouraging to see that my words are actually being read on several continents. I also got some remarks as to why I don’t write more about what’s really happening in Venezuela, day to day. Or more funny stories. Well, there was a time when I did report day-to-day what was happening on the streets. It became a repeat performance. And for funny stories, you have to squeeze everyday life to get some funky juice out of it. Let’s admit it: today’s Venezuela is like a country at war. The funny things are situational; you have to see them for yourself. All things considered, writing is easy. But maintaining an entertaining blog is something else. I guess some of you have experienced that.

Now, for the latest news. Not Greece, because Venezuelans care a hoot for what is happening abroad. Beauty, and especially female curves, attracts all attention 24/7, no matter what your politics are. Last Sunday’s Miss Universe beauty pageant prompted me to delete everything I’d written some days before – boring stuff about people leaving (another hot item by the way), and start all over.

How can I better explain the source of pride of most Venezuelans, than showing it? Miss Venezuela 2013 María Gabriela Isler (right), last year’s Miss Universe, shows all attributes of an ideal woman in this country. Curvy with 90-60-90 proportions, glamourous, lush hair, sharp-witted, with perfect features (courtesy, in many cases, of the best plastic surgeons money can buy) and NOT sleazy. The quintessential Latin beauty. Women and men alike, no matter what their sexual preferences are, take pride in “their” queen. And they can point to success: Out of 63 Miss Universe contests so far, Venezuela has won 7, making it a historical front-runner. And nearly all Miss Venezuela’s made it to the finals year after year. If the nation’s other pride, baseball, has produced some great players who all play in US teams for hard bucks, the constant stream of stunning beauty queens surely has given some hard-needed good vibes to this plagued country. The economy may be in a coma, politics offer no solution whatsoever, but we have the most beautiful women in the world. You will hear that from any straight-mouthed Venezuelan, who will then order an ice-cold beer along with a good parrilla or BBQ to underline the statement that Venezuela is in fact a fine country with its delicious and beautiful sides. A fair and true point made.

But, if you look at the picture on your left, you will ask yourself, how can such a beauty like Isler (right) have such a figure eating typical Venezuelan BBQ monstrosities like this one? The answer, my dear reader, is in your imagination. Imagine how people look like who eat this load of food together with a six-pack of cold beer (or more) every weekend. Imagine yourself doing that. And then you can probably deduce how many Venezuelan women AND men look like. Curvy, yes. But not like Miss Isler on your right, who undoubtedly doesn’t eat a hamburger like that every weekend.

It’s a beauty, indeed. 

Now something about the cartoon at the beginning of this letter. Like all straight men, Venezuelan male like to look at women in a certain way. Especially if the object of their attention is filled. However, the focus of their macho attention has shifted from one bulge to another bulge, as you can see in the drawing. Blame it on the crisis. Still, curvy females get enough attention on the streets, as long as it’s done discreetly. There exists one big plus point for the Venezuelan woman. They like to have boob jobs, nose jobs, ass jobs, have their hair done and put on a lot of makeup. But primarily for their own good feeling. Every girl here dreams of one day becoming a beauty queen. And if they don’t, they will put a great deal of money, effort and pain into it to at least look like one. They love and loath at the same time being admired by men. In a society still stamped by macho supremacism, beauty is a way of women to get even. Look at me, is the message. Don’t I look like a beauty queen? But don’t ever think with your tiny male brain ever putting your dirty paws on me. 

Good girl.

Have a great week and till next Wednesday!

© Adriaan van Ginkel 2015